Attention: Awesome in Progress [entries|friends|calendar]
Pico the Great

[ website | Olinscarr ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(...want to do my homework for me?)

Such a Busy Pico! [28 Mar 2015|08:00am]
Good Morning, JiveJournal!

O, I have neglected you heinously! See I now, that when I opened the page to write this innocent entry - Lo! It had been since the most 18th of the January month that I haven't written! And that is a crime.

Ennywhey - yes. Haven't. I'd like to say that it's because I've been busy, but ... shit, man, that ain't no excuse anymore. I am always busy. Busyness is my life. Buysness defines me. I am busy like fish is swim. Etc etc. And shit, I was busy in college, too, and still found my ass time to journal. (Could be that my online social life was here, too: this place is nigh on ded, now, with all my friend-friends known IRL, and all my casual-friends moved to other sites like Tumble-Her and suchall.)

I figure I should keep writing, though, for my own reasons: I don't want to forget what's been going on in my life during various times and it's fun looking back. So I'll do for that reason. When I can.

~:~

So! happy transitions are happening in my Professional Life! "Oh, Pico, you have a Professional Life? That's hilarious, because you're totally not professiona-" "you just shut your damn mouth, Hypothetical Voice, before I clock you one." Yes, ladeez and gennlemen (though I do suspect neither reads this journal anymore, and so it's more like self and self), I am FINALLY! FINALLY!! FINALLY!!! finishing my teaching at the ESL school!

I am hoping this is a permanent change. I am eager to get out because it's monotonous, unchanging, unchallenging, dull, and I just don't care anymore -- and add to that the $16/hr factor and I am hella done with this. But I've stayed because ... well, it was an iron rice bowl. But god I hate iron rice bowls. That's no good excuse. An so, even though the rest of my life is in a state of flux and confusion, I am leaving it, because good god, done done done done done done DONE.

April 8th. I only have to teach until April 8th.

I'm picking up, in its vaccuum, an interpreting job, possibly tutoring (but I hope not for long), a summer job, and I have a couple applications out that are fermenting. What's really got me stoked, though, and what I really hope will develop in the long term, is my interest/work on International Exchange. Right now I'm doing that through volunteering (yeah, no money, as usual ...) at my alma mater's direct-exchange programs department; I've managed to make myself hugely useful through my Chinese knowledge, and I'm hoping this might shift in the long term from Volunteer Pico to Program Assistant Pico. I hope! (Also, with this experience, I'll be able to apply to the other jobs in the field. I got my eyeball on a certain couple programs - hopefully I can be accepted to those in the long term. [inserts cute-and-hopeful face here]).

~:~

DASS JOB. Outside of job?

Well, I have a rich and active social life, which is a constant surprise to me: where the hell did that come from? I am seeing friends often, and doing a lot of things -- I have things every weekend, and sometimes many days of the week, as well. This both is an escape from frustrations of job (which used to be, when I was in my old, slower-paced internship, plus Friggin Teaching), and also just a source of fun. SOCIAL.

I suppose special mention goes to myboyfriend, whom I have now. You kids remember this? and this and this and this? Also, this and just the emtionals that came after? Well, hahaha! I am still with that guy. I am very happy about it. He is a good guy. We get along like peaches and cream, which is to say: fantabulously. I'm seeing him onceaweek in general, and sometimes a little more often, which used to bother me when I was deep in Wharrgarbl, but which now is a perfect amount of time because busyness. So happys!

He and I have been figuring out intimacy together, too, which is very interesting to this particular ace. All sorts of useful stuff like emotion-learning and trying things out. Also, just love in general: a small, quiet, non-fireworks, non-exclusive kind of love, where we're not each other's sole emotional supports, but we do support each other and have high amounts of mutual affection and caring and excitement to see each other. All of it's good. I don't know what might happen in the future - no idea, although I hope it continues well - but I'm not living in the future, am I? so :D

~:~

This is all my life. I feel like I should say more - god, there's so much else going on! - but I should ... well, I should get ready for Swedish class, and then go to Swedish class n then the store, n then find out if I'm seeing guy this eve or if I'm going on a hangout adventure with a friend, and then .... D&D tomorrow! Whoa. Wow. So busy. Much life. Wow.

Pico out!

(2 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

Story Repository - 2015 update [18 Jan 2015|01:04pm]
Note: NO LONGER f-locked to those who know my real name! since this journal is my IRL self's extension, why not have my name here, too?

Note also: update includes: removing old-old stuff that I'll never get published. that's viewable on my 2012 Story Repository. Maybe I should make one for in-progress?

Note Finally: I'm rearranging these by Published (in publishing order), Unpublished-But-Finished, WIP, and Unpublishable.


Published


[Story 167]
---- She decided, after many days and many repetitions: Hell wasn’t a labyrinth. It was an empty house and a short memory.
---- submitted to nanoism 5.20.10
---- published! in Nanoism 5.23.10 - here!

The Remote-Controlled Doggirl [short story version] - 6200wd - one, two, three, four
---- submitted to Crossed Genres 10.31.11
---- published! by Crossed Genres 12.1.11 - here!

Matty and the Grey Man - 2500wd - here
---- submitted to Q&W's Old Weird South Anthology 2.25.12
---- Accepted! by Q&W's Old Weird South Anthology 5.6.12
---- Published! in Q&W's Old Weird South Anthology, HERE! (Online version readable HERE!)

Missy Gin and the Trouble She Was In - 10000wd - here
---- submitted to Twit Publishing's Dieselpunk Anthology 4.27.12
---- Accepted by Twit Publishing's Dieselpunk Anthology 5.20.12!!!

Changeling -2147wd - here
---- submitted to a Short-Story Award For New Writers contest at Glimmer Train 8.31.10
---- rejected by Glimmer Train
---- submitted to Black Lantern Publishing 6.10.12
---- Accepted! by Black Lantern Publishing, 2.7.13
---- Published! by Black Lantern Publishing, 2.28.13 - here

Beast and the Beauty - 16000wd - part one, part two
---- retitling to Beast and the Beauties, I think.
---- submitted to Giganotosaurus 9.25.12
---- rejected by Giganautosaurus 10.23.12
---- submitted to The Colored Lens 4.5.13
---- Accepted! by The Colored Lens 6.12.13
---- Published! by The Colored Lens, HERE! (Online Version to follow!)

The Little Matchbox Girl - 1900wd - here
---- submitted to Glimmer Train Stories 7.10.10
---- rejected by Glimmer Train Stories 9.5.10
---- submitted to Detritus Anthology 10.10.11
---- rejected by Detritus Anthology 10.31.11
---- submitted to Fiction Fix on 4.5.13
---- rejected by Fiction Fix (date unknown)
---- submitted to Nocturnal Press Publication's Torched anthology 5.2.14
---- accepted! by NPP's Torched anthology! 6.2.14
---- published! in NPP's Torched antho, 7.22.14, here!

Myrrh, and the Sun - 700wd - here
---- submitted to Apex Magazine 1.3.2015
---- accepted by Apex Magazine 3.8.2015!



Unpublished-But-Finished


Beauty and the Beast - 9000wd - here
---- retitled to Beauty and the Leech
---- submitted to Strange Horizons 6.14.12
---- rejected by Strange Horizons, 6.23.12

Jack Heckity - 6300wd - [not online, will upload soon]
---- submitted to the Appalachian Folklore Anthology 9.1.10
---- released without publication; anthology project dropped, 6.20.11
---- submitted to Crossed Genres' Myth issue 11.1.12
---- rejected by Crossed Genres, 1.7.13
---- submitted to Waylines, 4.5.13
---- rejected by Waylines, 4.14.13

Salamander - 1436wd - here
---- possible submission to a gen. magazine
---- submitted to Blood Orange Review 5.20.10
---- rejected by Blood Orange Review 9.26.10

The Botanist and the Beast - 2800wd - here
---- submitted to Red Queen Press Re-imagined Fairy Tale Anthology 6.13.12
---- rejected by Red Queen Press Re-imagined Fairy Tale Anthology 6.15.12

Ole Raw Head - here
---- submitted to Black Lantern Publishing 6.24.10
---- rejected(? no response) by Black Lantern Publishing

Mercy - 4600wd - here
---- Submitted to Strange Horizons 7.12.11
---- rejected by Strange Horizons 9.18.11
---- submitted to Shadows & Tall Trees 1.5.12
---- rejected by Shadows & Tall Trees 1.6.12
---- submitted to Ideomancer 6.10.12
---- rejected by Ideomancer 6.21.12
---- submitted to Crossed Genres' Touch Issue 4.5.13
---- rejected by CG's Touch Issue 6.13.13
---- submitted to Body Parts Magazine 11.28.14
---- was told to resubmit; resubmitted to Body Parts Magazine 4.20.2015

Mona and the Carrier - 17283wd - here
---- submitted to Asimov's 7.30.13
---- rejected by Asimov's 8.23.13
---- submitted to Analog 9.5.13
---- rejected by Analog 2.21.14
---- submitted to Tor.com 5.2.14
---- rejected by Tor.com 9.11.14
---- submitted to Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show 11.28.2014
---- no response from Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show
---- submitted to Giganotosaurus 3.5.2015
---- rejected by Giganotosaurus 4.14.2015
---- submitted to Betwixt 4.16.2015

The Forest at the End of the Hall - 8163wd - UNEDITED: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
---- submitted to Shimmer 3.5.2015
---- rejected by Shimmer 3.11.2015
---- submitted to Strange Horizons 3.13.2015
---- rejected by Strange Horizons 4.1.2015
---- submitted to Beneath Ceaseless Skies 4.16.2015

The Incident at Women's Town - 5300wd - here
---- submitted to Queers Destroy SF 2.14.2015
---- rejected by Queers Destroy SF 3.11.2015
---- submitted to Clakesworld 3.12.2015
---- rejected by Clarkesworld 3.13.2015
---- submitted to Asimov's 4.18.2015
---- rejected by Asimov's 4.20.2015
---- submitted to Shimmer 4.25.2015

Sprouts - 300wd - [not yet upped to my journal]
---- submitted to Strange Horizons on 4.15.2015

Yesterday Miss - 120wd - here
---- submitted to The Threepenny Review 4.25.2015

Rosie - 114wd - here, but then edited.
---- submitted to Urban Fantasist 4.25.2015




WIP


Dame Ale and the Broken Tail - 7000wd - here
---- (in progress for Crossed Genres' Winter Well Anthology)
---- lulz, never finished it. Still WIP. Need to send it to someone, see how they like it.

The Teahouse in the City of Roots
---- started as a story of Arn-Bastio/Arrenabastacai. Changed it so that people not nmariside-familiar might get it. Also, for selling.

Old Olinscarr
---- see above, but with ancient-times-Olinscarr instead.

The Buzzard Who Wanted Golden Trees
---- don't know if this is what I'll title it

The Graverobber on Ghost Street
---- started as an isolated scene. Turned into post-apocalyptic Harbin. What the hell do I want to do with this?

The Fine and Flying Finster-Bird
---- a fairytale I started and never finished. I should finish it.

My version of Urashima Taro
---- which was also started, but then also abandoned. should finish and submit.

Mr Cider and the Golden Spider - 2356wd - (not yet uploaded)
---- I need to edit, clean up, and submit this poor soul somewhere!


(bare ideas: //the Son of the God of Suffering and Compassion// and //Flowers of the System//. We'll figure these out.)


[this whole post is a WIP -- I will finish making it nice when I return tonight or sometime. it is a WIP in perpetuum.]

(...want to do my homework for me?)

Dreams [12 Jan 2015|09:23am]
lots of short dreams last night. under the cut to preserve your eyes if you're not interested:

Read more...Collapse )

you may or may not be welcome.

(...want to do my homework for me?)

a fantastic feat of memory: in which Pico updates her Media Consumed in 2014 list! [06 Jan 2015|02:19pm]
Why, Pico, you knwo what you should do?

What's that, Hypothetical Question Asker?

You ought to make a Media Update List!

Why, I sure ought to~

But Pico!

What is it, HQA?

How are you ever going to make a Media Update Entry when you can't remember all the things you read?

Well, I'm so glad you posed that question to me, HQA~ You see, right here I have some old librabry-checkout slips, and over there I have the old Media Update Entry, and over there there I have a pile of Harry Potter books I know I just finished reading. So overall, HQA, I'm hoping ti won't be too difficile. I just can't promise accuracy, because I am a Pico who is busy and has many things on her mind. Oh, so many~

~:~:~:~:~:~

books read Jun 26 - end of 2014

Squire
Lady Knight
Sandry's Book
Tris' Book
Daja's Book
Briar's Book
Magic Steps
Street Magic
Shatterglass
Cold Fire, Tamora Pierce
---- rereads all
Battle Magic, Tamora Pierce
---- reading this was frustrating. The only other bad Pierce book, in my estimation, aside of the Trickster books. I have so many problems with this that I'll just leave my voiced dissent here.
Over Sea, Under Stone
The Dark is Rising, Susan Cooper
---- rereads.
---- they were so British I had to take a break and read something else.
[at this point I have no recollection what I read next; this was september, and I had one month left to go at Lado-only before I started my Lado & Library schedule.]
[something here],
A Brother's Price, Wen Spencer
---- reread
---- still love it.
[something here],
* The Dispossessed, Ursula K Le Guin
---- unfinished
[something here]
The Big Sleep, Philip Marlowe
---- excellent, excellent. read it because I wanted to read a Noir for the Puzzard story. was best choice.
The Thin Man, Dashiell Hammett
---- enjoyed it! what a fantastic husband-wife pairing, within the confines of time period!
* The Postman Always Rings Twice, James M Cain
---- unfinished
[something here]
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
, JK Rowling
---- rereads all
---- read all of these in the last two and first week of 2014-2015. See entry here. I have, of course, more thoughts and feelings about them, but they take a long time to write, and also there's a lot.

comics read Jun 26 - end of 2014

Oglaf
---- all updates til that date
Bird Boy
---- all updates til that date
Shades of A
---- all
Judecca
---- all updates til that date
14Nights, K. Stipetic
---- all
Love Me Nice
---- Ch 1 all
---- Ch 2 to pg30
Let's Speak English, Mary Cagle
---- all updates til that date
The Oatmeal
---- all updates til that date
Asaekigga
---- all updates til that date
The PowerPuff Girls Reimagined By Rossowinch
---- all updates til that date

movies watched Jun 26 - end of 2014

Airplane
Princess Mononoke
Mockingjay
Babette's Feast
The Big Sleep
---- unfinished
From Russia With Love
Goldfinger

[note: insert short films here]


shows watched Jun 26 - end of 2014

Korra,
---- finished Season 3!
White Collar
---- ep 1: showed to my students for Fraud chapter

~:~


note: I also watched a good number of short-films on youtube, but I'll make that list when I come back from my walk with my dad :D

(...want to do my homework for me?)

potter reread - first book of the new year [05 Jan 2015|10:50pm]
Wow. Just finished a back-to-back-to-back Harry Potter readthrough. Three weeks or so, including holidays. Three weeks of these books.

I have a lot of thoughts on these books. I reread them primarily because of of a quote, somewhere on the vast interwebs, of someone saying: "J.K. Rowling didn't change my life, she shaped it." She didn't mine - I shaped myself through other books - but I wanted to see: how? How did these books do this? I was too young first time around to appreciate it. How did these books come to matter to people so much?

I can see right now how. It's to do with a lot of things:

+ with wish-fulfillment: "you're a wizard, Harry!"
+ with fun: think of those candies, the joke-shop, the silly spells
+ with eagerness for the world: trips to Diagon Alley, exploring Hogwarts; the forest
+ with archetypes: the ease and directness of knowing people in this world, and the simplicity with which they can be understood

I think it also has to do with a child's view of the world: the world is so huge, complex, and ridiculous, that of course they don't understand, and of course they take the weird for granted - even as they learn the rules, the rules are based in self-referential absurdity, with no science nor logic behind them, but rather emotion and archetypes and Old Magic and Right And Wrong. These rules are the rules of fairy tales, at heart.

And for a child to read from that view: well, that only makes sense. But for an adutl to read from that view: oh, there - I think people underestimate what a powerful draw nostalgia and wish-fulfillment have. After all, anyone reading this can name what House they'd want to be sorted into, which character(s) is/are their favorite(s), what kind of wand they'd want, what subject they'd study at Hogwarts. The world is silly, and weird, and straightforward at heart - it's based in excitement and fun and adventure and friendship and family and love, and while this society we're in talks about those about as childish, moralistic, or maudlin, squishy things, it can't be denied that they're also yearned for - as evidenced by the fact that Rowling was able to become a billionaire.

There's a lot, sure, in these books I don't agree with. I think James was a smug jerk, Sirius was an overworshipped twat, Luna got the short end of the stick, and Severus over-vaunted after his big revelation of love. I think book seven could've been edited down quite a good bit - it got navelgazey and mediocre-prosed at times, for sure.

But I also think these books are an excellent set of achievements, and on the whole I applaud Rowling, because she's created a world that a whole generation wants, if not to live in, at least visit, and characters that are just as engaging each time you reread them.

Children born in the last three years will have grown up in a world where Harry Potter always existed - front to back, all the books, all the movies. But when they get old enough to read, or to be read to - won't they have the same sense of discovery that we have known?

(...want to do my homework for me?)

Dreams [28 Dec 2014|09:32am]
Wow. Had some fantastical dreams. All very involved. Here is what I can remember:

the Korra dreamCollapse )

the travel dreamCollapse )

the potato pancakes dreamCollapse )

the underground shops dreamCollapse )

the camp dreamCollapse )


the end :D

(pico what are you dreaming)

(...want to do my homework for me?)

two dreams [21 Nov 2014|09:07am]
such dreams. such dreams!


dream 1: the one that stole elements from IRLCollapse )

* this/remembering this/the idea of this is exceptionally upsetting, because casual touch is such an important part for me of me being with someone.

** Chinese Lángos: a wide circle of fried dough that would be painted with salty meat-and-bean sauce.


dream two: the one that didn"tCollapse )

(Ideas in this one for stories...)

(1 Good egg | ...want to do my homework for me?)

The pre-Birthday-Entry birthday entry detailing the State Of The Pico [22 Oct 2014|10:55am]
Mostly I'm making this a separate-from-the-actual-Birthday-Entry entry because it'll have actual content, whereas the Birthday Entry is mostly composed of violent, multicolored squeeing. Also, take note of my lovely, pretty, new-and-improved LJ look! Oh snaps, the Pico has took the time to made things pretty!? What is this madness!? Interrobang!?

So! As may well be seen, so very much has happened to me since I last spent significant time on the Journal Of Lives. No really. You guys. You guys. So much has happened. So much that it has been an exhaustion to even think of writing it all or any of it down, because where do I start, and also what is this thing called time?

Mainest of mains, of course, is the fact that I uh. Now have a boyfriend. Yes, I do. This is crazy, right? I've kept it unmentioned on the Book Of Faces, partially because personal life is personal, and partially because of possible-bagel reasons. (Also, he's not a big bacefooker.) But! He's there! And boyfriendy. Definitely there :D

To note: we're not as couple as is generally done. One reason is simply practicality: He's about 45min drive away, and both of us have busy work lives and social lives, so that doesn't leave us a lot of meeting times (we do try onceaweek at least - that's about my limit of non-wharrgarbl time; more than a week and my brain gets itchy in his direction). There are also relationship-style reasons why we're not all-couple-couple: more on that in flocked entries. The time we do get together, though, is gouda stuff, and he's emotionally really focused and involved, which is fantabulous :D

Next: work. Work! I now have an internship, which is far more fabulous than teaching is, but I still have to teach (whee.) and job-search (whucgh). This is because money. I do hate to sound mercenary or anything, but Woman Cannot Live On Volunteer Internships Alone, and it is amazing and really quite irritating, during job-searching, to see how many positions expect one to not only be experienced, but also to work for free: "it'll be a great resume-builder!" "It'll give you practical experience and help you build networks!" Okay, guys, okay, but I'd also like to make more than $15 an hour, because that is the tiniest beans in a city like DC, and un-live-alone-able. (Elsewhere in the country, you could concieveably live on that. DC, no.)

Really, I'm tired of job-searching and teaching and doing things that don't occupy my brain. Overall, and eventually - but it could be sooner than eventually - I want to have a job in international exchange where I have both with-people-time and down-time, where there's a variety of mostly-interesting work, where I have decent admin, where I have a good work-life balance, and where I make a reasonable sum. That's it. Also, a castle and a pony, which I can then give to a person who actually likes ponies, because I don't give jack shit about horses. :D

Speaking of Work-Life Balance: in the last couple months, my calendar has EXPLODED. So many things! SO many things are going on with people! I'm going to shows, parties, painting, overnights, all sorts and kinds of events, meetings, whatever. I barely have time to breathe - but that's what Monday-Wednesday evenings are for. At least, so they were, until this week: this last Monday, I just started a scehdule that looks liek this:

8.30-12.30: Library internship
2-5.30: Teaching.

Doesn't look so bad, right? Well, tack on an hour to either end - because DC - and a half-hour commute from Library to teaching, and I end up with: the amount of time a full-time job normally takes. Get up in the dark, go home in the dark, and get four hours of leisure time evenings.

I feel odd about this, because on the one hand, great, it's responsible, but OTOH - the internship is 6mo long - til March - and the teaching is, well, teaching. So I still have to job-search, and that's a stress all of its own. Overall, no, I'm not complaining, because hell, I could be in a dead-end retail job -- but this teaching is dead-end, interestless, unchallenging, and unusing of my brain, and good god, I need something else, stat. Which is why I'm a-search.

Blah blah vicious circle. These things will all sort themselves out eventually. I know I'll get a job in what I want - because I won't settle for what I don't want - but it's gonna take time and effort.


But! At least I'm living in green places, among people I love and like, and with interesting things around and about me. I have friends and am making friends, I have a full and interesting social life, and I take my advantages and run with them.

So! Overall: the State Of The Pico is Strong, and looking stronger all the time.

Strong especially because I now have a 175 max on the squat, and 205 on the deadlift, OHHH YEAAHHH.


So, overall: life is :D, and Pico is still truckin' :D

(...want to do my homework for me?)

I was going to say "attention: fixing in progress", but it just didn't have the same ring to it [10 Oct 2014|05:38pm]
I wanna fix my journal so it's not full of borked picture-links and white whiteness on white.

Attention: Awesome In Progress.

(...want to do my homework for me?)

dropping these here so I can look at 'em later without cluttering tabs :D [21 Sep 2014|08:52am]
sorry, kids! too busy to make a Proper Post right now! but here are two things that I dont' want to forget, so I'll drop 'em here and react later!

~:~

"Amatonormativity is “the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types”"

source

~:~

tomer-hanuka - an artist with interesting colors and lines

(...want to do my homework for me?)

The State of the Pico [24 Aug 2014|05:44pm]
[ mood | wharrgarbl ]

Kids, I realize a lot of my posts recently have been wharrgarbl posts. Sorry bout that, I know it's not too terrifically entertaining, and as we all know the reason Pico writes this LJ is to entertain the five people who still follow me, right?

RIGHT.

In overall, though, I do want to reassure you kids: I'm mostly-overall fine. I do have to admit: Mood is striking a whole lot more often nowadays than it usually does, which I put down to my interest in/dating a new person. Nota Bene: I'm really quite very exceedingly interested :D Apparently my brain takes it cue from that to "oh hey, so if you're happy when he's around, that makes you unhappy when he's not around?" No, brain, fuck you. Fuck yuuuuu.

So apparently this kicks into Mood. I'mma be going to a new family doctor (new because until now I've been with our old doctor who's ... a pediatrician), and I'll be getting checked up and out and over and all that for all the important stuff, and I'll also have a chance to talk to him about Mood, its frequency and reasons, and so on. Which is good - despite I know this is a bit triggered by hormones, I also wanna to have this talked about with a professional.

Other half of things: the job search goes on, and is in fact ramping up. God, I want to be using my Chinese and my international knowledge and the stuff I'm interested in, instead of just floating on by on a job that, while I can do with a high level of competence, I am also tired of. But then of course there's waiting and rejections and all sorts of fun stuff.

Blah blah blah, Pico, stop complaining. Sorry, kids, my brain's focusing on two major things right now, and they're kind of taking over my attention.

So there's that. At least writing is working when it works? I like that. Wanna that to continue. Trying to continue that when I can. Whee.

TL;DR: Here is a summary of my current life in .gifs:

The way wharrgarbl affects me:


My flaily flaily flails:


When Mood happens:


Me keeping my emotions in check:


Moar flails:


Just everything in general:

(...want to do my homework for me?)

In Which Pico Tests The Limits Of Your Eyesight. You're Welcome! [04 Aug 2014|11:38pm]
Details didn't happen. Sorry, kids, them is the breakfasts!

BUT IT WAS STILL A REALLY GOOD DATE and I wanna go on more god what the fuck am I doing how do I even do this






.... if I could have a chance to anthropomorphize all these feelings I would do so, and then punch the shit out of them



...at least now they're mostly good feelings?

(...want to do my homework for me?)

a short filler post [03 Aug 2014|10:44pm]
too long, didn't write: IT WAS A GOOD DATE.

(details tomorrow!)

(...want to do my homework for me?)

various variouses: picolife, bullet form [11 Jul 2014|03:49pm]
See, I right here was justabout to make a long, thoughtful, and soul-searching entry, when I realized .... oh. It's Mood!Lite - the pre-period little-mood that I sometimes fall into for no reason other than hormones.

So I'll spare you the TMI and just focus on what really matters. And, because I've been in front of a screen almost consecutively from 9AM to 3 PM, I'mma do it in bullets:

+ writing is back :D I am so happy about this it is unbelieveable. I've got so many ideas, you guys! I've got so many ideas.

+ I am still teaching. no no, spare me the shock and surprise. I don't wanna dwell on it. it's a job. it gives me money. Not much, mind you, but I can squirrel most of it away.

+ still job-searching, too. that is a laugh and a half, I can tell you. maybe one day when I'm less inclined toward fantastical amounts of bitterness I'll tell you about it, but haha I can tell you now: today is not that day :D

+ I'm spending too much time on imgur. I'm trying to cut down on my computer time in general, and for the most part I'm succeeding - an hour after work, an hour before bed, bam. That should be all. But then imgur comes along and provides mindless easy lulz. Don't do it, Pico D:

+ I'm getting fitter, which pleases me. Still can't get past 90lb on the bench press, sonofabitch, but at least I'm up to a decent number of reps on lower weights. going to keep pushing. My eventual goal: benching my body weight +5, because that's a bar plus one forty-five on either side.

+ it is so goddamn beautiful where I live - discounting the heat and humidity - that I desperately do not want to go back to China to live now.

+ I'm trying another one of those speeddate things this Wednesday, this one international-themed. Haha? let's see how that pans out.

+ overall, and teaching aside, it's nice to be able to have a dependable schedule that doesn't make me work weekends. I like knowing when I have time, and that I'll never be deluged at the end of a semester (and if I am, it's never for longer than a day). I like this kind of life-rhythm, and I could certainly live with this kind of thing - workweek and weekend - for a bit.

+ Kinda want to continue my spanish learning. (all six weeks that I learned it in China ... didn't I LJ about that? No? later.) my school teaches lessons for teachers half-price - $180/month edit: the teacher price'd be $180/6wk TuTh, which is pretty reasonable. considering it.

+ experimenting with chinese cookery. trying out red-cooking this weekend! ( http://redcook.net/2008/01/18/hong-shao-rou-red-cooked-pork/ or http://thewoksoflife.com/2013/08/red-cooked-pork-hong-shao-rou-grandmas-version/ , alongside steamed-then-garlic-sauced Chinese broccoli, maybe egg-and-bitter-melon, and rice (possibly with extra fried rice for the boys' stomachs) .) we shall see if I can do it! (well, more like: we shall see if it tastes as delicious as I know it can be.)


.... yeah, muffin more to report here. Going to go off and clean my room now. (Oh yeah, that's one other thing I've been doing. It's working - I have more floor than I did, which is always nice.) feeling better already! (though that could be the fish oil at work. O Oil Of The Fishes, Thou Art Indeed Magniferous! Thenks :D)

peace out kids :D

(...want to do my homework for me?)

dream of 7.6.2014 [06 Jul 2014|09:48am]
dream under cut - action! adventure! totally a plot for a new book. Pico, why always new books?Collapse )

(1 Good egg | ...want to do my homework for me?)

Media Update [29 Jun 2014|07:30pm]
Update. I don't remember alll the pre-vacation stuff, so I'mma reconstruct this as best I can.


~:~books~:~
(and comics)


feb - may 7

The Thief, Megan Whalen Turner
The Queen of Attolia, MWT
The King of Attolia, MWT
A Conspiracy of Kings, MWT
---- all rereads, all brilliant ♥
* Sandman Vol II, Neil Gaiman
---- I tried to reread this. But then I realized it was so incessantly dark and I hated the art style. So I stopped a couple chapters in.
Fairest, Gail Carson Levine
Dave at Night, Gail Carson Levine
---- reread
---- holds up well. GCL is a writer I would advise to kids, definitely.
Alif the Unseen, G Willow Wilson
---- excellent book, after a slow start. I was frustrated, though, that we had the main character we did - Alif was a little brat most of the book, and a lot of the folks around him were a ton more engaging and charismatic.
Kampung Boy, LAT
---- lil comic about a boy growing up in a kampung. Good stuff :D
My Side of the Mountain, Elizabeth George Speare
---- reread
---- a childhood book of mine - orig school reading, but it was what got me onto a string of survive-in-the-wild books. loved it/them, and upon reread: still enjoy, although things are so impossibly easy for the MC. No diarrhea, colds, illnesses, accidents, or, really, danger at all.
Bloodhound, TPierce
King's Man and Thief, Christie Golden
---- reread
---- good friggin god, this was so painful that I was eyerolling half the book and eyebrowing the other half. Too much Western/English influence on everyone even though it's not supposed to be so; everyone who's good is obvious and everyone who's bad is stupid. lulzy.
* The Whispering Mountain, Joan Aiken
---- started to reread, then put aside because vacation.


may 7 - jun 8

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N K Jemisin
---- reread
The Broken Kingdoms, N K Jemisin
---- a brilliant series. The more I reread/read her, the more I love her writing. The first book was never gut-level close for me - things happened, but everything felt removed, despite it being good. But the second book - guh. Just wow. Very, very vivid and real, and I loved it even better than the first.
Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
---- skimread this. Irritated me immensely: it was a pop book that used the shock value of a taboo subject (OMGINTERSEX) to tell a sappy, insipid coming-of-age story. Far too much way-back-in-history, far far too much stilted writing, and the MC's transition was far, far, waaaay too easy: you don't absorb the quirks, mythology, and social habits of another gender over the course of a couple weeks! One hundred irritations here.
Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson
---- see Whenever Pico Makes An Entry About This (because I have some serious thoughts on this, you guys.
The Last Legends of Earth, A A Attanasio
---- surprisingly much better than I thought, and I went into it thinking it'd be good! superb handling of a huge subject, multifaceted & multicultural humans, and a time-loop story I didn't hate? Sign me right up for more Attanasio!

jun 8 - jun 26
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
---- reread
The Girl who Played with Fire, Stieg Larsson
* The Girl who Kicked the Hornets' Nest, Stieg Larsson
---- unfinished
First Test, TPierce
---- re(rere)read
Page, TPierce
---- re(rere)read


~:~movies~:~


feb - may 7

Casablanca
---- rewatch
On the Waterfront
---- rewatch
Frozen

may 7 - jun 26

Wadjda
---- plane movie. fantastic.

~:~shows~:~


feb - may 7

Kurt Wallander, 2005
---- eps 1-4
Game of Thrones
---- up to ep S3 E4

may 7 - jun 26

Kurt Wallander, 2005
---- ep 5
Game of Thrones
---- eps S3 E4-S3 E6
Korra
---- S3 eps 1, 2, 3
---- ALL THE HEARTMARKS

(4 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

why i don't post much these days [26 Apr 2014|10:56am]
wanna stay in touch with people.

wanna participate actively in their online lives.

but when I try, a great lassitude falls over me.

it's easier to go out and take a walk, or read a book, or just research for writing.

maybe tomorrow?

(...want to do my homework for me?)

linky links list [16 Apr 2014|10:52pm]
It's been too long since we've had one of these...

Pico's Cluttered Tabs! :D


http://imgur.com/a/Xe6Q5?gallery
---- imgur's giant post of prank-gifs

http://www.surenmanvelyan.com/eyes/your-beautiful-eyes/
---- super-closeup pictures of eyes. they are like nebulae

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowpiercer
---- this movie sounds fantabulous

http://isaia.tumblr.com/post/81001196586/so-if-we-wanted-to-watch-some-french-animation-what
---- buncha isaia-rec'd french animation

http://isaia.tumblr.com/tagged/visual+development/page/6
---- also isaia, visual development

http://kakasbal.tumblr.com/post/82538629931/ssulsol-gotta-draw-random-ladies
---- a person does teh Lady Knights challenge. Like those :D

http://kagcomix.tumblr.com/post/80174981250/i-spent-a-good-chunk-of-my-weekend-scrambling-to
---- being lived in the well its whole life; lil girl sets it free

http://www.playbuzz.com/benjaminbirely10/which-religion-best-suits-you
---- "Some parts of this quiz were probably boring for you, or just down right funny. You're a pragmatist and a thinker. Atheism, from the Greek "atheos" or "without God", is the intellectual rejection of belief in God or deities. Atheists emphasize the lack of empirical evidence that God or an afterlife exists and rely on scientific explanations for human existence. It should be noted that although atheists often reject all organized religion, there are some religions, such as Buddhism and Hinduism, that have traditions of atheist philosophies. So could there be a spiritual side to you after all? (yeah, probably not, we know)"
---- one day I will rant and lol about this, but today is not that day

(...want to do my homework for me?)

it's like a miniature Various Variouses! writing, running, and ... speeddating? [03 Apr 2014|10:21pm]
Pico is a bustling, blustering, boisterous barbarian bouncyball who feels silly right now and so here's an entry! I feel like talking to the internet - let's see if it talks back?

~:~

WRITING!!!!! I have been returning to the Massey Chapter time and again, and I think that finally, finally, FINALLY I have gotten it into an acceptable format. Will still get itself an edit or two the final time round, but it's in a form that I finally feel comfortable leaving it in.

Which means I'm back to K&L, which'll either be a piece of pie or break my brain, and I seriously hope it'll be the former rather than the latter. I always did like writing them - I hope that liking funnels back into my brain and makes this easier than it has been for a good while.

Hope so.

~:~

I have signed up for this: Speed Dating for Science Fiction and Fantasy Lovers (April 2014). You may ask WHY PICO WHY, and I will tell you:

1) I don't object to the idea of finding someone companionable.
2) it's a very controlled environment
3) I'm likely to find people with overlapping interests, which is a good start.

I could expound upon this, but mostly it would sound like self-justification, which is silly, because I shouldn't need to self-justify an interest in getting to know people. Mostly it's my worry that the ace thing will be a deterrent, but ... well, shit, that ain't changing, and I may as well?

Pico, shuttup and just try it. Couldn't hurt, right?


~:~

I am so pleased with and proud of the results of me gyming in the last few months! I am finally getting some proper definition on both arms and thighs, and that is nice! I'va also started up my long runs again - not all the time, but maybe once a week, 6-8 miles a time. Today I did ten miles, and not only was my time decent, but the only thing that really tired me out was the sprint at the end (which was me trying to get in under 2 hours).

Course now my knees feel like they're made of jellos. But! As they say: no regrets. (only kneeaches.)

~:~

OK that's all I feel like posting. See youse!

(2 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

Various Variouses: tree-feels, teaching, patience, complaining, things read & unread, writing [23 Mar 2014|12:30pm]
It looks like all of my recently life entries are turning into Various Variouses entries, but I guess, with 1) my life being what it is and 2) the frequency with which I update being what it is, that is no surprise.

~:~

They're cutting down another tree in the neighbors, and I am surprised at how little I feel about it. I heard the saw and immediately stepped down on feeling about another tree-cutting, because I am so fuckin tired of being angry and sad every time this happens. So I don't have any more to say about that.

It's a birch.

~:~

Work. Teaching. Not easier than in HRB, but at least I keep busy, which lets me write. And that's what matters here!

I am so ready to not be teaching anymore. I am so ready to not go into work and have to pysch myself up everyday for 5 straight hours of classroom management and Exercising Authority Over 13 Other Personalities. People tell me "oh, you must be so patient! I can't imagine being as patient as you!" I stop myself from replying "I'm not patient" because it's not technically true - I am, going by the definition, patient. ("the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.") I don't get angry because I don't allow myself to get angry, and I don't get upset because I don't allow myself to get upset. This is why:

1) students are people, and they won't change. getting angry at that don't do nothin good.
2) students are people, and it's not courteous to show your anger to people.
3) students are people, and when people see an authority figure upset, that authority figure loses authority.
4) it takes too much effort to get angry or upset.
5) it takes too much investment to get angry or upset, and I don't have that much investment in this.
6) it's not professional to get angry or upset.
7) if I'm irritated/angry/upset/displeased, it bleeds out and makes class not pleasant to be in. and to layer unpleasant-to-be-in on top of already-don't-want-to-be-doing-this ... well, it's bad shit, I don't mind telling you.

I prefer to manage a classroom by being, as I term it, aggressively helpful. You don't get a thing? let me help you with it. You're bored? let me pull my chair up across the table from you and ask how I can help. You're texting around on your cellphone? let me relieve you of it and put a textbook in your hand. You're speaking not-English to others? please, translate for us, and I will use that to kick off a discussion that should help others understand the thing you guys are complaining about.

This I can do.

This is not what I want to do.

This is exhausting, mentally, and at the end of the day I need a few hours of "please do not get within twenty feet of me and also please make no noises at me because I'mma not talk right now okay". It ain't 9-5 - it's 'only' 9-2 - but add an hour's lesson plan to either end and consider the amount of emotional energy, and it's a serious job.

(And it's not even considered full-time.)

~:~

So I'm sending out applications for internships in the summer. For right now, I'll stay with this, because I'm able at it and because I have writing I want to do and because I am sick and tired of my schedule being unpredictably disrupted as t's been for the last three months.

I don't want to talk about applications and internships. I have spieled this spiel to so many people and people always ask and they always give me suggestions and I am tired of reexplaining everything.

~*:~ IN WHICH PICO COMPLAINS SO MUCH ~:*~


I don't care. This is what personal journals on the land of the internet are for, right? whinging about things you generally don't whinge about because it's childish to complain about things that are going pretty well for you so shut up.

yeah, they're going pretty well. I also don't know what I'm doing with my life eleven weeks from now. "this is a time of transition." "you're just going through that period in your life." "everyone goes through this."

yeah, I know. but still wharrgarbl.

~:~

I should update my Media-Consumed list. I read many books. I also did not read many more.

Things I've not read:
- I got out of the library the whole Sandman series, because I had been thinking about it and because a month or so ago I'd been reading several Gaiman books. But: when I started reading a bit into the Sandman books, I found the drama overwrought and predictable, and I decided: I don't have the patience to slog through all these again. So I stopped.

I think it's because, while the author might find this story told in this way all well and good, I lost patience with it. I asked all the WHYs, and when a book answers with "that's just the way it is", I nope right out of there.

Also, the art style was fugly as hell, and I cannot stand reading a story whose art style I don't like.

Things I did Read:
- recently I reread the four Queen's Thief books. as usual I was all ♥ about them, but: unlike usual: I did not have the "I want one" feeling.

I have grown confident enough in my writing and characters that I feel like I can produce characters are vibrant, belove-able, and fantastic as the characters in a favorite series of mine. I've reached a level where I no longer go all mope-mope-wish-I-could, but instead, go "damn, the amount of love I have for this makes me want to get back to my writing, because I want people to have this amount of love for my own writing."

It's a good change, and I appreciate it.

Also, they're awesome books.

Also also, today at 3pm I'm going to be at a meetup that discusses the series, and I will be :Ding all about the books and so I look forward to that.

~:~

Made a major breakthrough in my writing this last week. Possibly more than one.

The obvious one: I figured out how the physics of the world can allow for the type of city I have set many of my stories in. This sounds unimpressive but actually isn't. It's cool, because it's a problem that has bothered me for years. Now that I have a possible solution for it, I am pleased but also much back to thinking, because I'll have to retool some old stuff to make it all consistent.

(As long as we're complaining and whinging here, I'll put in the obligatory wishful-thinking wish that I could write as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted, but obvs that's neither sustainable nor workable with my brain. ~*:~ IN WHICH PICO COMPLAINS SO MUCH ~:*~ So I'll just continue trying to find a work I like that lets me write.)

The possible-breakthrough is this: I wrote a scene that I've been having trouble with for, well, years. That's not the breakthrough. The breakthrough is that I wrote it, almost forced it to be written, accepting that it wasn't going to be Good, it just needed to fill this in so I could go on. And but, when I finished, I had enough of an idea for how to fix/edit it that I will be able to go and do that this week, and, if things go right, return to canon within either the week or the two weeks.

It's been so long since I wrote this book that I almost worry I won't get it right, going back to it. But, hell's bells, I've been leaving-and-getting-back-to-and-dropping-again-and-getting-back-to it so often and so much in the past few years that, hell, what's another change? It'll just be going all through a final edit anyway, so I may as well slog on as per usual.

As I said back then:

fuck doubt


Mostly fuck it because ... just shit, man, I'm fed up. I'm fed up and sick and tired of not being able to get done what I want to get done. So I'm going to hurl myself at it until I get it done right. Whee, Pico Problem-Solving!

~:~

I think I'm done complaining. Let's end this post on a happy note. Finito!

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]