Attention: Awesome in Progress [entries|friends|calendar]
Pico the Great

[ website | Olinscarr ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(...want to do my homework for me?)

various variouses: picolife, bullet form [11 Jul 2014|03:49pm]
See, I right here was justabout to make a long, thoughtful, and soul-searching entry, when I realized .... oh. It's Mood!Lite - the pre-period little-mood that I sometimes fall into for no reason other than hormones.

So I'll spare you the TMI and just focus on what really matters. And, because I've been in front of a screen almost consecutively from 9AM to 3 PM, I'mma do it in bullets:

+ writing is back :D I am so happy about this it is unbelieveable. I've got so many ideas, you guys! I've got so many ideas.

+ I am still teaching. no no, spare me the shock and surprise. I don't wanna dwell on it. it's a job. it gives me money. Not much, mind you, but I can squirrel most of it away.

+ still job-searching, too. that is a laugh and a half, I can tell you. maybe one day when I'm less inclined toward fantastical amounts of bitterness I'll tell you about it, but haha I can tell you now: today is not that day :D

+ I'm spending too much time on imgur. I'm trying to cut down on my computer time in general, and for the most part I'm succeeding - an hour after work, an hour before bed, bam. That should be all. But then imgur comes along and provides mindless easy lulz. Don't do it, Pico D:

+ I'm getting fitter, which pleases me. Still can't get past 90lb on the bench press, sonofabitch, but at least I'm up to a decent number of reps on lower weights. going to keep pushing. My eventual goal: benching my body weight +5, because that's a bar plus one forty-five on either side.

+ it is so goddamn beautiful where I live - discounting the heat and humidity - that I desperately do not want to go back to China to live now.

+ I'm trying another one of those speeddate things this Wednesday, this one international-themed. Haha? let's see how that pans out.

+ overall, and teaching aside, it's nice to be able to have a dependable schedule that doesn't make me work weekends. I like knowing when I have time, and that I'll never be deluged at the end of a semester (and if I am, it's never for longer than a day). I like this kind of life-rhythm, and I could certainly live with this kind of thing - workweek and weekend - for a bit.

+ Kinda want to continue my spanish learning. (all six weeks that I learned it in China ... didn't I LJ about that? No? later.) my school teaches lessons for teachers half-price - $180/month edit: the teacher price'd be $180/6wk TuTh, which is pretty reasonable. considering it.

+ experimenting with chinese cookery. trying out red-cooking this weekend! ( http://redcook.net/2008/01/18/hong-shao-rou-red-cooked-pork/ or http://thewoksoflife.com/2013/08/red-cooked-pork-hong-shao-rou-grandmas-version/ , alongside steamed-then-garlic-sauced Chinese broccoli, maybe egg-and-bitter-melon, and rice (possibly with extra fried rice for the boys' stomachs) .) we shall see if I can do it! (well, more like: we shall see if it tastes as delicious as I know it can be.)


.... yeah, muffin more to report here. Going to go off and clean my room now. (Oh yeah, that's one other thing I've been doing. It's working - I have more floor than I did, which is always nice.) feeling better already! (though that could be the fish oil at work. O Oil Of The Fishes, Thou Art Indeed Magniferous! Thenks :D)

peace out kids :D

(...want to do my homework for me?)

dream of 7.6.2014 [06 Jul 2014|09:48am]
dream under cut - action! adventure! totally a plot for a new book. Pico, why always new books?Collapse )

(1 Good egg | ...want to do my homework for me?)

Media Update [29 Jun 2014|07:30pm]
Update. I don't remember alll the pre-vacation stuff, so I'mma reconstruct this as best I can.


~:~books~:~
(and comics)


feb - may 7

The Thief, Megan Whalen Turner
The Queen of Attolia, MWT
The King of Attolia, MWT
A Conspiracy of Kings, MWT
---- all rereads, all brilliant ♥
* Sandman Vol II, Neil Gaiman
---- I tried to reread this. But then I realized it was so incessantly dark and I hated the art style. So I stopped a couple chapters in.
Fairest, Gail Carson Levine
Dave at Night, Gail Carson Levine
---- reread
---- holds up well. GCL is a writer I would advise to kids, definitely.
Alif the Unseen, G Willow Wilson
---- excellent book, after a slow start. I was frustrated, though, that we had the main character we did - Alif was a little brat most of the book, and a lot of the folks around him were a ton more engaging and charismatic.
Kampung Boy, LAT
---- lil comic about a boy growing up in a kampung. Good stuff :D
My Side of the Mountain, Elizabeth George Speare
---- reread
---- a childhood book of mine - orig school reading, but it was what got me onto a string of survive-in-the-wild books. loved it/them, and upon reread: still enjoy, although things are so impossibly easy for the MC. No diarrhea, colds, illnesses, accidents, or, really, danger at all.
Bloodhound, TPierce
King's Man and Thief, Christie Golden
---- reread
---- good friggin god, this was so painful that I was eyerolling half the book and eyebrowing the other half. Too much Western/English influence on everyone even though it's not supposed to be so; everyone who's good is obvious and everyone who's bad is stupid. lulzy.
* The Whispering Mountain, Joan Aiken
---- started to reread, then put aside because vacation.


may 7 - jun 8

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N K Jemisin
---- reread
The Broken Kingdoms, N K Jemisin
---- a brilliant series. The more I reread/read her, the more I love her writing. The first book was never gut-level close for me - things happened, but everything felt removed, despite it being good. But the second book - guh. Just wow. Very, very vivid and real, and I loved it even better than the first.
Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
---- skimread this. Irritated me immensely: it was a pop book that used the shock value of a taboo subject (OMGINTERSEX) to tell a sappy, insipid coming-of-age story. Far too much way-back-in-history, far far too much stilted writing, and the MC's transition was far, far, waaaay too easy: you don't absorb the quirks, mythology, and social habits of another gender over the course of a couple weeks! One hundred irritations here.
Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson
---- see Whenever Pico Makes An Entry About This (because I have some serious thoughts on this, you guys.
The Last Legends of Earth, A A Attanasio
---- surprisingly much better than I thought, and I went into it thinking it'd be good! superb handling of a huge subject, multifaceted & multicultural humans, and a time-loop story I didn't hate? Sign me right up for more Attanasio!

jun 8 - jun 26
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
---- reread
The Girl who Played with Fire, Stieg Larsson
* The Girl who Kicked the Hornets' Nest, Stieg Larsson
---- unfinished
First Test, TPierce
---- re(rere)read
Page, TPierce
---- re(rere)read


~:~movies~:~


feb - may 7

Casablanca
---- rewatch
On the Waterfront
---- rewatch
Frozen

may 7 - jun 26

Wadjda
---- plane movie. fantastic.

~:~shows~:~


feb - may 7

Kurt Wallander, 2005
---- eps 1-4
Game of Thrones
---- up to ep S3 E4

may 7 - jun 26

Kurt Wallander, 2005
---- ep 5
Game of Thrones
---- eps S3 E4-S3 E6
Korra
---- S3 eps 1, 2, 3
---- ALL THE HEARTMARKS

(4 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

why i don't post much these days [26 Apr 2014|10:56am]
wanna stay in touch with people.

wanna participate actively in their online lives.

but when I try, a great lassitude falls over me.

it's easier to go out and take a walk, or read a book, or just research for writing.

maybe tomorrow?

(...want to do my homework for me?)

linky links list [16 Apr 2014|10:52pm]
It's been too long since we've had one of these...

Pico's Cluttered Tabs! :D


http://imgur.com/a/Xe6Q5?gallery
---- imgur's giant post of prank-gifs

http://www.surenmanvelyan.com/eyes/your-beautiful-eyes/
---- super-closeup pictures of eyes. they are like nebulae

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowpiercer
---- this movie sounds fantabulous

http://isaia.tumblr.com/post/81001196586/so-if-we-wanted-to-watch-some-french-animation-what
---- buncha isaia-rec'd french animation

http://isaia.tumblr.com/tagged/visual+development/page/6
---- also isaia, visual development

http://kakasbal.tumblr.com/post/82538629931/ssulsol-gotta-draw-random-ladies
---- a person does teh Lady Knights challenge. Like those :D

http://kagcomix.tumblr.com/post/80174981250/i-spent-a-good-chunk-of-my-weekend-scrambling-to
---- being lived in the well its whole life; lil girl sets it free

http://www.playbuzz.com/benjaminbirely10/which-religion-best-suits-you
---- "Some parts of this quiz were probably boring for you, or just down right funny. You're a pragmatist and a thinker. Atheism, from the Greek "atheos" or "without God", is the intellectual rejection of belief in God or deities. Atheists emphasize the lack of empirical evidence that God or an afterlife exists and rely on scientific explanations for human existence. It should be noted that although atheists often reject all organized religion, there are some religions, such as Buddhism and Hinduism, that have traditions of atheist philosophies. So could there be a spiritual side to you after all? (yeah, probably not, we know)"
---- one day I will rant and lol about this, but today is not that day

(...want to do my homework for me?)

it's like a miniature Various Variouses! writing, running, and ... speeddating? [03 Apr 2014|10:21pm]
Pico is a bustling, blustering, boisterous barbarian bouncyball who feels silly right now and so here's an entry! I feel like talking to the internet - let's see if it talks back?

~:~

WRITING!!!!! I have been returning to the Massey Chapter time and again, and I think that finally, finally, FINALLY I have gotten it into an acceptable format. Will still get itself an edit or two the final time round, but it's in a form that I finally feel comfortable leaving it in.

Which means I'm back to K&L, which'll either be a piece of pie or break my brain, and I seriously hope it'll be the former rather than the latter. I always did like writing them - I hope that liking funnels back into my brain and makes this easier than it has been for a good while.

Hope so.

~:~

I have signed up for this: Speed Dating for Science Fiction and Fantasy Lovers (April 2014). You may ask WHY PICO WHY, and I will tell you:

1) I don't object to the idea of finding someone companionable.
2) it's a very controlled environment
3) I'm likely to find people with overlapping interests, which is a good start.

I could expound upon this, but mostly it would sound like self-justification, which is silly, because I shouldn't need to self-justify an interest in getting to know people. Mostly it's my worry that the ace thing will be a deterrent, but ... well, shit, that ain't changing, and I may as well?

Pico, shuttup and just try it. Couldn't hurt, right?


~:~

I am so pleased with and proud of the results of me gyming in the last few months! I am finally getting some proper definition on both arms and thighs, and that is nice! I'va also started up my long runs again - not all the time, but maybe once a week, 6-8 miles a time. Today I did ten miles, and not only was my time decent, but the only thing that really tired me out was the sprint at the end (which was me trying to get in under 2 hours).

Course now my knees feel like they're made of jellos. But! As they say: no regrets. (only kneeaches.)

~:~

OK that's all I feel like posting. See youse!

(2 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

Various Variouses: tree-feels, teaching, patience, complaining, things read & unread, writing [23 Mar 2014|12:30pm]
It looks like all of my recently life entries are turning into Various Variouses entries, but I guess, with 1) my life being what it is and 2) the frequency with which I update being what it is, that is no surprise.

~:~

They're cutting down another tree in the neighbors, and I am surprised at how little I feel about it. I heard the saw and immediately stepped down on feeling about another tree-cutting, because I am so fuckin tired of being angry and sad every time this happens. So I don't have any more to say about that.

It's a birch.

~:~

Work. Teaching. Not easier than in HRB, but at least I keep busy, which lets me write. And that's what matters here!

I am so ready to not be teaching anymore. I am so ready to not go into work and have to pysch myself up everyday for 5 straight hours of classroom management and Exercising Authority Over 13 Other Personalities. People tell me "oh, you must be so patient! I can't imagine being as patient as you!" I stop myself from replying "I'm not patient" because it's not technically true - I am, going by the definition, patient. ("the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.") I don't get angry because I don't allow myself to get angry, and I don't get upset because I don't allow myself to get upset. This is why:

1) students are people, and they won't change. getting angry at that don't do nothin good.
2) students are people, and it's not courteous to show your anger to people.
3) students are people, and when people see an authority figure upset, that authority figure loses authority.
4) it takes too much effort to get angry or upset.
5) it takes too much investment to get angry or upset, and I don't have that much investment in this.
6) it's not professional to get angry or upset.
7) if I'm irritated/angry/upset/displeased, it bleeds out and makes class not pleasant to be in. and to layer unpleasant-to-be-in on top of already-don't-want-to-be-doing-this ... well, it's bad shit, I don't mind telling you.

I prefer to manage a classroom by being, as I term it, aggressively helpful. You don't get a thing? let me help you with it. You're bored? let me pull my chair up across the table from you and ask how I can help. You're texting around on your cellphone? let me relieve you of it and put a textbook in your hand. You're speaking not-English to others? please, translate for us, and I will use that to kick off a discussion that should help others understand the thing you guys are complaining about.

This I can do.

This is not what I want to do.

This is exhausting, mentally, and at the end of the day I need a few hours of "please do not get within twenty feet of me and also please make no noises at me because I'mma not talk right now okay". It ain't 9-5 - it's 'only' 9-2 - but add an hour's lesson plan to either end and consider the amount of emotional energy, and it's a serious job.

(And it's not even considered full-time.)

~:~

So I'm sending out applications for internships in the summer. For right now, I'll stay with this, because I'm able at it and because I have writing I want to do and because I am sick and tired of my schedule being unpredictably disrupted as t's been for the last three months.

I don't want to talk about applications and internships. I have spieled this spiel to so many people and people always ask and they always give me suggestions and I am tired of reexplaining everything.

~*:~ IN WHICH PICO COMPLAINS SO MUCH ~:*~


I don't care. This is what personal journals on the land of the internet are for, right? whinging about things you generally don't whinge about because it's childish to complain about things that are going pretty well for you so shut up.

yeah, they're going pretty well. I also don't know what I'm doing with my life eleven weeks from now. "this is a time of transition." "you're just going through that period in your life." "everyone goes through this."

yeah, I know. but still wharrgarbl.

~:~

I should update my Media-Consumed list. I read many books. I also did not read many more.

Things I've not read:
- I got out of the library the whole Sandman series, because I had been thinking about it and because a month or so ago I'd been reading several Gaiman books. But: when I started reading a bit into the Sandman books, I found the drama overwrought and predictable, and I decided: I don't have the patience to slog through all these again. So I stopped.

I think it's because, while the author might find this story told in this way all well and good, I lost patience with it. I asked all the WHYs, and when a book answers with "that's just the way it is", I nope right out of there.

Also, the art style was fugly as hell, and I cannot stand reading a story whose art style I don't like.

Things I did Read:
- recently I reread the four Queen's Thief books. as usual I was all ♥ about them, but: unlike usual: I did not have the "I want one" feeling.

I have grown confident enough in my writing and characters that I feel like I can produce characters are vibrant, belove-able, and fantastic as the characters in a favorite series of mine. I've reached a level where I no longer go all mope-mope-wish-I-could, but instead, go "damn, the amount of love I have for this makes me want to get back to my writing, because I want people to have this amount of love for my own writing."

It's a good change, and I appreciate it.

Also, they're awesome books.

Also also, today at 3pm I'm going to be at a meetup that discusses the series, and I will be :Ding all about the books and so I look forward to that.

~:~

Made a major breakthrough in my writing this last week. Possibly more than one.

The obvious one: I figured out how the physics of the world can allow for the type of city I have set many of my stories in. This sounds unimpressive but actually isn't. It's cool, because it's a problem that has bothered me for years. Now that I have a possible solution for it, I am pleased but also much back to thinking, because I'll have to retool some old stuff to make it all consistent.

(As long as we're complaining and whinging here, I'll put in the obligatory wishful-thinking wish that I could write as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted, but obvs that's neither sustainable nor workable with my brain. ~*:~ IN WHICH PICO COMPLAINS SO MUCH ~:*~ So I'll just continue trying to find a work I like that lets me write.)

The possible-breakthrough is this: I wrote a scene that I've been having trouble with for, well, years. That's not the breakthrough. The breakthrough is that I wrote it, almost forced it to be written, accepting that it wasn't going to be Good, it just needed to fill this in so I could go on. And but, when I finished, I had enough of an idea for how to fix/edit it that I will be able to go and do that this week, and, if things go right, return to canon within either the week or the two weeks.

It's been so long since I wrote this book that I almost worry I won't get it right, going back to it. But, hell's bells, I've been leaving-and-getting-back-to-and-dropping-again-and-getting-back-to it so often and so much in the past few years that, hell, what's another change? It'll just be going all through a final edit anyway, so I may as well slog on as per usual.

As I said back then:

fuck doubt


Mostly fuck it because ... just shit, man, I'm fed up. I'm fed up and sick and tired of not being able to get done what I want to get done. So I'm going to hurl myself at it until I get it done right. Whee, Pico Problem-Solving!

~:~

I think I'm done complaining. Let's end this post on a happy note. Finito!

(...want to do my homework for me?)

Voice Post [14 Mar 2014|06:05am]
VoicePost
732K 4:28
(no transcription available)

(...want to do my homework for me?)

links to read when I has times [08 Mar 2014|08:23am]
Links Pico Needs to Read Or Respond To Because They Are Cluttering Her Tabs:

Read more...Collapse )

Life post coming soon! WATCH THIS SPACE.

(1 Good egg | ...want to do my homework for me?)

The Media-Consumed List Of 2014! [06 Mar 2014|10:41pm]
PICO'S GREAT BIG GRANDE MEDIA CONSUMED IN 2014 LIST



~:~booksbooksbooks~:~


Jan1 - Feb6

Rocannon's World, Ursula Le Guin
---- decent but early-writing, and not so inspiring and beloved as I usually find Le Guin. Gotta start somewhere?
The Chaos, Nalo Hopkinson
---- WOW. Fantastic!
*Johnathon Strange and Mr Norrell, Susanna Clarke
---- I keep starting this, getting an indeterminate butusually double-digit number of pages in, and then putting it aside. Oh well.
Sabriel, Garth Nix
Lirael, Garth Nix
Abhorsen, Garth Nix
---- re(rere)reads
---- still brilliant.
*If on a winter's night a traveler, Italo Calvino
---- ongoing
American Gods, Neil Gaiman
---- reread (HS)
---- still excellent.
*Röde Orm, Franck G Bengtsson
---- lättläst version
---- swede-reading :D
---- ongoing
*Niccolò Rising, Dorothy Dunnett
---- my dad's rec. so much description! it took too many words for everything to happen, and I was continually confused by the choreography. I felt like I was reading a Russian novel.
Shamer's Daughter, Lene Kaaberbol
---- with a conceit like that, it coulda been a contender. instead, weak prose, mediocre dialogue, unclear choreography, uncertain time period, and badly-fitted worldbuilding all gave it a one-way ticket to Palookaville.
Coraline, Neil Gaiman
The Raging Quiet, Sherryl Jordan
---- reread (HS)
Feed, M T Anderson
---- reread (HS)
---- The dangers of using outdated slang and making up more outdated slang are that your writing ends up sounding unintentionally hy-larious. I remember being interested with the idea but unimpressed and irritated at the result in high school. I am glad to see my fourteen-year-old-self's taste being vindicated.

feb - may 7

The Thief, Megan Whalen Turner
The Queen of Attolia, MWT
The King of Attolia, MWT
A Conspiracy of Kings, MWT
---- all rereads, all brilliant ♥
* Sandman Vol II, Neil Gaiman
---- I tried to reread this. But then I realized it was so incessantly dark and I hated the art style. So I stopped a couple chapters in.
Fairest, Gail Carson Levine
Dave at Night, Gail Carson Levine
---- reread
---- holds up well. GCL is a writer I would advise to kids, definitely.
Alif the Unseen, G Willow Wilson
---- excellent book, after a slow start. I was frustrated, though, that we had the main character we did - Alif was a little brat most of the book, and a lot of the folks around him were a ton more engaging and charismatic.
Kampung Boy, LAT
---- lil comic about a boy growing up in a kampung. Good stuff :D
My Side of the Mountain, Elizabeth George Speare
---- reread
---- a childhood book of mine - orig school reading, but it was what got me onto a string of survive-in-the-wild books. loved it/them, and upon reread: still enjoy, although things are so impossibly easy for the MC. No diarrhea, colds, illnesses, accidents, or, really, danger at all.
King's Man and Thief, Christie Golden
---- reread
---- good friggin god, this was so painful that I was eyerolling half the book and eyebrowing the other half. Too much Western/English influence on everyone even though it's not supposed to be so; everyone who's good is obvious and everyone who's bad is stupid. lulzy.
* The Whispering Mountain, Joan Aiken
---- started to reread, then put aside because vacation.

may 7 - jun 8

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N K Jemisin
---- reread
The Broken Kingdoms, N K Jemisin
---- a brilliant series. The more I reread/read her, the more I love her writing. The first book was never gut-level close for me - things happened, but everything felt removed, despite it being good. But the second book - guh. Just wow. Very, very vivid and real, and I loved it even better than the first.
Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
---- skimread this. Irritated me immensely: it was a pop book that used the shock value of a taboo subject (OMGINTERSEX) to tell a sappy, insipid coming-of-age story. Far too much way-back-in-history, far far too much stilted writing, and the MC's transition was far, far, waaaay too easy: you don't absorb the quirks, mythology, and social habits of another gender over the course of a couple weeks! One hundred irritations here.
Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson
---- see Whenever Pico Makes An Entry About This (because I have some serious thoughts on this, you guys.
The Last Legends of Earth, A A Attanasio
---- surprisingly much better than I thought, and I went into it thinking it'd be good! superb handling of a huge subject, multifaceted & multicultural humans, and a time-loop story I didn't hate? Sign me right up for more Attanasio!

jun 8 - jun 26
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
---- reread
The Girl who Played with Fire, Stieg Larsson
* The Girl who Kicked the Hornets' Nest, Stieg Larsson
---- unfinished
First Test, TPierce
---- re(rere)read
Page, TPierce
---- re(rere)read



~:~comisscomicscomics~:~


Jan1 - Feb6

(none yet)

feb - may 7

King of Masks
---- rewatch
---- oh, ♥!
Casablanca
---- rewatch
On the Waterfront
---- rewatch
Frozen

may 7 - jun 26

Wadjda
---- plane movie. fantastic.


~:~moviesmoviesmovies~:~


Jan1 - Feb6

Smiles of a Summer Night
---- This was a wonderful, delightful little movie and I loved it :D
*Arjun
---- didn't finish. Got 30min in, and the art style was just too off-putting.



~:~showsshowsshows~:~


Jan1 - Feb6

Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged
---- some rewatch, some new
---- eps 1-20
Dexter
---- rewatch
---- S1, eps 1-5
Welcome To Nightvale, link
---- eps 1-22
Game Of Thrones
---- rewatch
---- eps 1-7
---- got for my dad for Christmas. He is loving it :D


feb 6 - may 7

Kurt Wallander, 2005
---- eps 1-4
Game of Thrones
---- up to ep S3 E4

may 7 - jun 26

Kurt Wallander, 2005
---- ep 5
Game of Thrones
---- eps S3 E4-S3 E6
Korra
---- S3 eps 1, 2, 3
---- ALL THE HEARTMARKS

(...want to do my homework for me?)

a short "I am not dead" [21 Feb 2014|11:49am]
Y HALO THAR KIDS

I haven't seen or spoken to you guys in forever! Sorry about that - I'll do a quick summary of my life recently so that this absence make sense. My life recently:

LESSON PLANNING TEACHING LESSON PLANNING TEACHING JOB SEARCH TEACHING LESSON PLANNING TEACHING EMAILS TEACHING LESSON PLANNING TEACHING JOB FAIR TUTORING LESSON PLANNING TEACHING JOB SEARCH TEACHING CONTACTS TEACHING LESSON PLANNING NETWORKING LESSON PLANNING TEACHING LESSON PLANNING LESSON PLANNING LESSON PLANNING TEACHING fill the birdfeeder LESSON PLANNING AND OH LOOK I GOT AN EMAIL SENDING ME TRANSLATION WORK

.............................................................................................

So! In the overall, this is good! It is good for a Pico to be gainfully haha I almost wrote 'painfully' employed and to be doing things and getting things done! Yay! Yeah! Gewd! Woo hoo!

OTOH, this is why you haven't heard from me.

Sorry bout that, kids. I will try to ketchup on your journals again, and this time leave comments insteada just lurking and reading. I will try! I can't promise muffin, though, so don't flop upon me if I can't deliver!


how it really is


~:~

Get this outa the way early: a few linkies and videos and amusing things I have found in the last couple days and must to share with you good people of the Ell Jaye:

+ The tale of a pregnant woman who confronts a basilisk she defeated in her adventurous youth.
+ Exactly what it says on the tin. Fantastic little four-page comic. Love it.


+ Hidden sheet music in Hieronymus Bosch triptych recorded by blogger
Notes written on the posterior of one of the many tortured denizens on a panel of The Garden of Earthly Delights has been composed

+ Hieronymus Bosch - The Music Written on This Dude's Butt [Choral Arrangement] (Garden of Earthly Delights)
+ Sheet music recorded in a five-hundred-year-old painting my Hieronymous Bosch, transcribed in the painting on a dude's butt, was transcribed and performed by a blogger.
+ ladies and gentlement, I give you: THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY.

+ New Game Turns Tetris Blocks into Anime Characters
+ ... oh god Japan

+
+ oh god, JAPAN

+
+ I never get tired of this video :D

~:~

I should write more, and I will later. But I have emails pressing at my attention, and I need to attend to them before they dessiccate. Off I go to do that!

(4 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

writing - writing? [12 Jan 2014|11:46pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I don't know. I'm trying. I don't even know if I can, but I'm trying.

I am not even going to get my hopes up.

But I am trying.

(...want to do my homework for me?)

in which pico tells about the ice [06 Jan 2014|12:29pm]
Back.

I'm back, and I haven't written in forever. Oh, sure, yeah, I wrote on Dec 24th. And that was delightful. But it is now two weeks since, and not having written for so long makes me doubt my ability and feel all stretched away from it. I know I can write. So why can't I write? I want to write. But writing is over there, and I can reachy reachy all I want and can't get to it.

enough whinging. let me talk about other things.

~:~

I have been doing so much so much these last couple weeks, kids, it's hardly even funny. I have had Christmas and friendvisits and newyears and more friendvisits all in one, all one after another. They have been good. Over all of them, though, is laid a fuzzy, drawn-out feeling. I have, for some ununderstandable reason, been unable to grasp the moment so easily as I was doing a month ago.

So strange, this, because all those dragging days when I wanted to be at home, when I was sick as fuck of being over there and would've dropped it all in an instant to be back home: I can remember every goddamn second. And but now I'm here, Christmas flows into Boxing Day flows into the weekend flows into New Years, and now it's the 6th of January, and ... here I am?

I mean, I know where the time went. I can remember things, and feelings, and sensations, and thoughts, and conversations. But it's like it's all sliding together so much easier here and now.

Maybe it's relief?

Maybe it's eustress?

Maybe it's letting go?

I don't know what or why. All's I know is it's it.

~:~

On the 18th of December I ran from bank to bank to bank, getting that account set up; then last-minute packing; then last-minute seeing; then I went. I took the taxi with two chorus friends to the airport, and at the airport we talked for a while til I get antsy and left; then I went through security with my bag that weighed some ridiculous number of pounds and then sat in the waiting room, and then sat on the plane, and then sat on the shuttle, and then stumbled up the lane to my hostel. It's a good hostel and I always stay there; a new girl didn't recognize me and put me in a new room. I'd gotten women-only-four-beds, and i was the only one in the room, but this one had a long, wide window set in the opposite wall, and so when I slept it wasn't like being in a tomb, but like the world was out there.

I slept from ~1AM to ~10.45AM.

I woke and did some errands and then went and lunched with my Filipina Beijing friend in 日坛, the Temple of the Sun, at a little home-cooking place. I'd forgotten the neutrality of Beijing cooking: I've lived so long in China that Beijing food is no longer "Beijing food" but a ubiquitous sort of "this is Chinafood". You get a few Dongbei things in Beijing, but overall its food is just so very standard, so very run-of-the-mill to me, that I eat it and go "oh." Xiao Wang's place's food was good, but like that - we had two mutton ribs each (Dongbei spices), and split a plate of fried tofu in sweet-and-sour sauce (Chinafood), green beans and pork (Northern cuisine), and shrimps-with-pinapple (Chinafood). it was all very tasty, but it was all very "intro to China"-like - like it you went to an American restaurant and ordered ribs, coleslaw, and vanilla ice cream. They can be cooked well and taste fine, but they're not eye-popping foods.

Anyway, then wandered and talked a bit, and got invited to a din, then parted ways. I zoomed to NLGX, the Hutong Street, and had a wander down it that culminated in the umbrella shop and the purchase of something I've bene wanting to buy for years - my own, Chiense-style serious umbrella. Rainproof and properly made, this thing is tung oil (haha, tongue :P) and bamboo and can withdraw a pretty pile o preticipation, if you know what I mean (and you'd better). I bussed it on over to my hostel, outside of where, SURPRISE!, the post office hadn't yet shut.

it was 5.30. They clsoed at 6. I hot-footed it on back to my roombs and picked up my mailing stuff (lightening my luggage considerably) and hotfooted it on back (a real run through the hutongs - a route I guessed at throuhg the grey walls without windows, all windy and dead-ending despite parallel to the main road; all filled with the boilers and detritus of the restaurants out front of them, and then the subway and the jian bing lady cooking her pancakes there), and made it in time to post my brella and stuffs with ten minutes to spare. WHEHW

then out to Sanlitun, where i found one The Bookworm and met Wendy again, and we met a rather effusive friend of hers and listened to an entirely wonderful guitar-and-cello duet concert. Nice.

back, sleep, up I bussed to the art district 798 around 10AM, and spent three hours in zipping in and out of galleries. I tried to see as many as I could, and managed over twenty - nice! - then bussed back and lunched and tea'd in Dongzhimen. Found a waving cat for 38元 - nice! - and bussed then to the bank, money'd, hostel, grab bags, airport. Zoom, onto plane.

There were so many white faces. It was really just weird. I had an window seat and enjoyed hte hell out of it, particularly after dinner, by when hte lights had gone off and it was dark outside. We were, by then, flying over the Kamchatka penninsula - always one of my favorite parts of the flight. This night was particularly excellent, because, aside of being 30k feet overtop the cold land - there was a moon out.

It was a gibbous moon, and there was almost no cloud. I first started watching out when I saw, below us - but not so far as it could've been - mountains like sand dunes. This place hadn't unfrozen since - well, hell, for all I knew it didn't unfreeze even in the summer, by hte look of those mountains. They were like drifts of sand, only white, with a bluegrey cast from the night. They were sharp and long and along the edge of them was the edge of the land. We were flying right along the coastline most of the way, and you could see how the mountains' white turned into the white of the lower plains, and back up again, and all along their edge they ran into the coast. It was scalloped like lightning. You could see it in blue and white lines of broken ice and clumped is, all floating close to the land, with some openings of sea between them.

The sea showed more often as we flew further north. The mountains again, and over them a haze of diamond dust - high-altitude ice crystals falling slow and flat - that reflected the moon hazy below as well as blinding bright above. Then hte mountains stopped and there was te sea again, this time breaking off the ice into shoals and then large reaches of black water with a little sheen of moon over it. There was one place where I could see, below us, if I concentrated, darker patches -- land? islands? an archipeligo that hadn't been iced? -- but when the moon's reflection rode over them, I saw in their place, giant waves. They must have been monstrously huge, because I saw them moving, tiny and ribboned, even from 30,000 feet - and between then, the normal sea waves were like little lines acrosst the surface of the planet. You couldn't see horizons - everything went to dark mist along the edges - but you could pick out the stars beautifully. I saw Orion rise - first low and large on the horizon, early in the journey, then creeping up and Taurus after it, and the Pleiades, and meanwhile the moon, brighter than you could ever see it from the surface.

Past the huge waves, we continued over land, long and snowy, broken by lakes ice-edged and black. Then plains, with rivers, whiter than the scruffy white around them, flowing down to the water. Once, on one of these, I saw one yellow light. Only one. Monitoring station? Border? Fishing? How did they have power? How many people - five? Two? One? I watched that one til it fell behind us, and then watched for more. There were few others - one, one ,and then nothing for a long time. I got excited when I saw two, within - I guess it must've been miles of each other. One was toward the end of one of those twisting, giant rivers of ice. One was somewhere in the haze above the black water, a couple lights instead of one. Once, later, I saw a whole row of lights - five? six? twenty people? fifty? it was out on the black water, and then we returned to white land again, and stay for a long time.

The east came to us after 8 hours in the dark. I'd forgotten that, so far north, even later afternoon is black. We flew into the lightening sky for an hour, and after a time I could take pictures of the blue and white and blown land. Here there was all land and no sea, and the lakes were frozen over, and the rivers were so old that they had oxbows on their oxbows and curves overlaying their curves, all those extra tiny, unfinished flows and round little loops looping back in; they looked like if I left my braids in for three days.

The stewardesses made us close the windows, then, because the sun was finally up, and this far north, it shone in our starboard windows from two fingers above the horizon, brighter than you'd ever conceive of below. But it almost didn't matter anyway - three hours later the sun was setting behind the plane wing, and the darkness we'd just flown out of came back over us from in front. By now, though, there were orange splotches below us, spread out and patched across the land. It faded into cloud, and only at the end of the flight could we see again - lowering over the capital, flying over the Kennedy Center and the Potomac, and the spread-out suburbs of Reston and McLean, and then finally coming down into Dulles airport.

~:~

I suppose I have written now, and i suppose that's good. I have been reading so many books, but I will tell you about those later. I have many thoughts and feelings about them. But I suppose the one that resonates most with me right now - and how could it not! - is Ursula Le Guin's Left Hand of Darkness. I've read it before, yes. but this time I knew the cold, and I could understand the ice.

(1 Good egg | ...want to do my homework for me?)

got home [23 Dec 2013|09:44pm]
figure I should mention (belatedly, sorry) that I have gotten home alright and I am here in the VA and happy about it.

weird jet lag as usual - was surprised at the complete lack of emotional stuff until last night's sudden outburst of "hey I can't stop laughing but I feel like crying oh look now I am crying", which came and went within the space of five minutes? (Oh, amygdala.) but maybe it's not surprising given that I have been so bone-deep exhausted by this semester that emotions right now are sort of a tossup anyway.

been slowly stretching my feelers out here in the VA. been rereading Lies of Locke Lamora until I realized "this is not actually what I want to be reading" and then switched to an old YA book in my room, and then to Clive barker's Abarat, which bears small but striking thematical similarities to some bits of my Topsider, which I've just decided is because this theme of "oh god life in my current place is fuckboring I've gotta try this new thing or else I will burst" is a universal one common to many books. Also, it makes me feel good that something this weird got so well-known and published, because that means there's hope for me yet.

I am enjoying the food and drink and especially so because I feel no compulsion to rush and taste everything in a month, because I'll be here for a good amount to time :)

I am currently drinking a cup of warm milk with a good spoon of sugar and generous shaking of allspice in it. it is delicious.

I have to get used to small courtesies again. I also have to get used to personal space limits, sort of. I also also have to get used to cleaning up after myself. one thing at a time.

I am off to do various variouses. see you kids!

(...want to do my homework for me?)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, cont'd [18 Dec 2013|08:53am]
2 days. Harbin departure tonight at 9.

HARBIN

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE +300 AIR QUALITY ON TODAY. OF ALL DAYS.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

YOU'D BETTER BE FLYABLE TONIGHT AT 9

IS ALL I'M SAYING

(PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE)

(3 Good eggs | ...want to do my homework for me?)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [18 Dec 2013|03:21am]
[ mood | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...aaaa.

(1 Good egg | ...want to do my homework for me?)

lists whee [17 Dec 2013|12:24pm]
3 days. 1 til I leave Harbin. I feel simultaneously like a Maverick Of Getting Stuff Done and a Maverick Of Putting Thigns Off.

to-dos are cut for your delicate sensibilitiesCollapse )

(...want to do my homework for me?)

3 days [17 Dec 2013|09:19am]
3 days.

and tomorrow I leave harbin.

and tomorrow I leave three years of a place, an apartment emptied of three years of life.

I leave people I've gotten, for better or worse, to know well and to fit among.

and I don't feel like I'm leaving. I know, intellectually, because my apartment's a mess and my rooms are exploded and my stuff is in bags and boxes and waiting to be sent and brought, but - I don't feel like I'm going.

what I feel like instead: I'm here. for the indefinite future. but one day, that future just stops. the possibilities in Harbin just stop, and the possibilities in Virginia begin.

i don't know if that's a normal way of feeling here. probably. probably all the stuff I'm spewing is perfectly normal feelings that everyone has, and Pico is just talking about them because this is the first time she's dealing with them.

but so yeah. I just thought I'd leave this little wordvomit on your fpages. have fun with that.

(...want to do my homework for me?)

4 days [16 Dec 2013|08:56am]
4 days.

Done/To Do Under Cut. Read more...Collapse )

Guys, where did I get so much stuff?

Feels continue to be changeable and weirds. I don't even know about anything anymore, I wanna go home but feel sad to leave but know it's time for me to go home but can't imagine leaving but need to go home, etc. I am never going to get this shit packed and I am going to end up being up all night and I am all wharrgarbl about everything. Raise your hand if you're surprised!

(If it helps, I've gotten one or two story ideas? AT A TIME WHEN I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT THEM blegh thenks brein yer the best)

I am just going to waddle around doing the needful now okay? okay pico out

(...want to do my homework for me?)

5 days [15 Dec 2013|05:36pm]
The title of this gif is This Is What I Feel Like.

this is what I feel like

(Protip: it's a metaphor for my life. The standing-up is my duties of things I should do. The falling down is what I feel like doing. The expression on the cat's face is my feels.)

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]