In the one: I was on a large ...campus? or so. And I was to meet Dan. When I finally did - and this was after a confusion of cafeterias, eating, what to eat, &c. - he was different: he has a beard, and didn't have the flash in his hair, and wasn't interested in me. I wanted to us to be as usual, so I tried talking and cuddling and stuff - all the while thinking: "I'm rearranging my schedule and I'm missing a bookclubmeet" and felt dread at that because it was the pattern of give-activities-up-for-boyfriend that I didn't want and didn't feel was worth it and felt guilty for feeling like that because we were together right but we weren't, emotionally -
and so somehow we were with a group of "friends" - 吃喝朋友, really - and I was going to show them around the BLCU campus. Dan - "Dan" now - was even more different, even less attracted/ive, and kept talking to other people and didn't touch me*. And everyone was jsut talking about inconsequential things and it was all boring and idiotic and I was pissed off, because shit, guys! We're in China! where's your intellectual curiosity?! - and so I finally convinced people to come and eat, and we started group-drifting through the campus (there behind the Friendship store). I realized: oh! it's street food night! because there were tons of carts and vendors out, and I got all excited - everything looked delicious! especially that Chinese lángos!** - but everyone in the group was just drifting, disengaged, disinterested, and immersed in their own who-gives-a-shit petty stuff.
* this/remembering this/the idea of this is exceptionally upsetting, because casual touch is such an important part for me of me being with someone.
** Chinese Lángos: a wide circle of fried dough that would be painted with salty meat-and-bean sauce.
I was the coming-of-age person in a coming-of-age ceremony in a forest tribe. We were preparing for the ceremony: some people preparing the bamboo - in a great, deciduous forest - and some cutting up the birds/meat that we would use at the main food - my in-dream-mother. The birds' meat was very important to tradition. it was to be cooked in an orangeyellow sauce - that I knew exactly how it tasted, very delicious - for the ceremony.
All the prep, and for the birdsmeat, you had to pull off a long piece of skin from te thigh-leg of each bird, incl the sharp toenail. I was absorbed in doing this when the forest, all sudden, got dark. One last one! Well, one last one was a mistake, because people were drifting off, toward the ceremony site, leaving me, and I went to hurry with them, and glanced back, and in the deep woods: a silver-glowing wolf.
I knew that as the ceremonial, I was the only one whom it woudl attack, so I ran. I ran, trying to catch up with the group, expecting teeth in my back or legs any second. I didn't - someone had poured out, on an all-rocks part of the path, a large portion (half) of hte meat-and-sauce stuff. That was meant for allaying the wolf/creatures. Good, and i continued to run, got out of the woods.
Around me, a great meadow/parking lot. Cars were coming and going. Our group was straggling towards a large building. My in-dream-mother came tearing out of hte woods, yelling where was I? and was I safe? and I took her and hugged her and said I was.
(Ideas in this one for stories...)